Stranger Than Your Sympathy
by xx.Dirty-Little-Secret.xx
Summary: summary inside. rated T for tragic elements and selfabuse. [title may change]
1. The Accident

Summary- It's been two years since Oliver died. Lily knew it wasn't her fault. But when a tragic accident happens to Miley, Lily is forced to live with the fact that it was her fault. The problem is, she's seeing her everywhere. At first, she feels she's just daydreaming. Until the problem persists. How can she cope with the loss of her best friend? Knowing that it's possibly her fault, and half the world is out to get her, even though they're really not. She wants to turn back time, and make everything normal again. She's changing inside and out. Her parents tell her to get Phsychiatric help, her heart tells her to let go, but her mind tells her to keep seeing these things. It tells her not to worry. These sort of things are meant to happen...or are they? IN THIS STORY, MILEY IS _**NOT**_ HANNAH MONTANA! AND THEY DONT LIVE IN MALIBU, THEY LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN CALLED KEROSENE, MASSACHUSETTES. -kerosene, massachusettes doesn't exist, by the way-

-BASED ON A FEW EPISODES OF DAWSON'S CREEK-

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**Chapter One-_ The Accident_**

Lily Truscott's cellphone was ringing itself out of it's battery. She flicked her tv on mute, and reached over. "Hello?" She asked, combing her fingers through her blonde shoulder-length bangs on the top of her head. "Miley, it's almost midnight!" She exlaimed to to her best friend on the other line.

"Alright, i'll be there. Chill." She said before closing her phone. She grabbed her keys off the counter, threw on her coat, and burst out the door and into the cold September night air.

She drove down to the pier, where her and her best friends always met to hang out and get away from the world. She parked her car on the green grass near the water and stopped it. Her hands were shaky, but her legs were quick as she skidded out the car and ran to the tower over-looking the calm, smooth water. She always hated climbing up it, but loved the view when she reached the top.

"It's about time," her friend Miley said, grabbing her arm and lifting her up onto the top. "I was getting worried."

Lily brushed herself off, then taking her seat on the bench near the water. The tower was surrounded by wooden guard-rails. It was dangerous to be up there, but she loved the rush of over-looking danger.

She's been afraid of heights ever since...her other friend's accident.

"No need to worry about me, Miles. You know I always make it." She smiled, zipping up her coat."

Both of the girls looked out at the water. "It's so beautiful, isn't it?" Miley asked from the opposite bench.

"Yeah, it is." Miley agreed.

Lily kicked her feet and looked at Miley. The wind was blowing stray strands of hair around her face. "I went up there yesterday." She licked her lips, afraid of upsetting Miley.

"Where? The water-tower?" She asked, slurring the word "where"

"Yeah," Lily answered.

A brook of silence burst through the both of them.

"You know sometimes...I just wish I could get away from the world. Just...leave this stupid town and become my own person. Live life freely." Miley broke the silence.

"You could." Lily told her. "But if you did, imagine everything you'd be leaving behind."

Miley snickered. "Like what? There's nothing here for me. Kerosene is THE most boring town in the history of BORING towns."

"Yeah, but there's always alot of fun things you." Lily smiled.

Miley narrowed her eyes. "Like what?"

"Like this!" Lily pushed Miley over onto the floor of the tower and splashed water in her face.

Miley coughed, then sat up. "Ugh, you bitch!" She pulled herself up and sat on one of the guard-rails, massaging her head, where she hit it when she fell on the ground. Lily was laughing incantestantly. "I had to do it." She said between laughs.

Miley was massaging the pain off of her head, and she lost her ballance on the guard rails. Luckily, she got up before she could fall, and both girls sighed of relief. She was walking over to the bench, and slipped on the water Lily had splashed on her face, hit her head on the guard-rails, and flipped off the tower and fell 30 feet and made a huge splash as she fell into the deep water, and didn't come up.

"MILEY!" Lily yelled, both hands protectivley on the guard-rails, and leaning herself over the edge, looking at where Miley had fell. At that one moment, her whole purpose in life had been ruined...

**Okay, how did you like it? The next chapter will explain to you how Oliver died.  
There are no pairs in this story.  
It's just a painful story  
I thought of one night while lying in my bed.  
Once I get a few positive reviews, I'll post chapter two.  
Thank you (:**


	2. How Could You?

author's note- Ah, so many hits. So many faves. No reviews. Okay, is it just me or is something seriously messed up here? lol. this is the ONLY time i'll post a new chapter without any reviews. But seriously, please review. I go to the trouble of writing this story, don't i deserve to know what people think? Okay, anyway...onto the story. ENJOY (:

**everything in this story is owned by people who aren't me (:**

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**Chapter 2-_How Could You?_**

"Lilian Rachel-Marie Truscott. Age 17." The young blonde told the officer as he jotted down random things on his note pad.

"Okay, Ms. Truscott, can you tell us exactly what happened?"

Blue and red lights flickered from the police cars against the night sky. She watched as investegators pulled her best friend's cold, lifeless body from the muddy water. She tried her best to hold back tears, but did not succeed.

"We w-were up on that t-tower there..." She stuttered, pointing her index finger to the over-looking tower.

"Miss, if I might ask, what were you doing up on the tower in the middle of the night, anyway?" The officer asked, a suspicious gleam in his eye.

"It's where we used to always sit and talk." She replied.

"Excuse me, miss.'We'?" He interupted.

"Oliver, Miley, and I." She told him.

"Alright, now can you tell me who's this 'Oliver'?" He asked, turning his attention to his notepad and pen.

Lily shut her eyes. "He died two Christmasses ago." She answered honestly.

"Im sorry," The officer told her. "Proceed please."

"She slipped on some stray water at the top, hit her head on the guard-rails, flipped off the tower, and fell into the water." Lily explained.

"Did she happen to come up before drowning?"

"No, sir."

"How did you know at first she was dead?" The officer asked, still writing notes on his note-pad.

"Well, for one thing: She can't swim. And the water at the point she fell must be at least, what? 15 feet deep?" Lily answered.

"Thank you, that's all we needed to know. Don't leave town. There's still some questions our reporters need to ask you."

"Okay." Lily said softly, walking away from the everyone, stopping to where they were zipping up Miley's body in, what looked like to Lily, a hefty trashbag that seals up someone's life, and ruins someone else's. Fighting her tears, she got into her car, and shakily, drove home.

How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes.  
Got no where to run.  
The night goes on;  
As I'm fading away.  
I'm sick of this life.  
I just wanna scream.  
How could this happen to me?

"Lily, honey are you alright?!" Lily's mom asked in her house coat once her daughter opened the back door. She grabbed her cheeks, and took a look at her.

"Im fine, mom." She answered steadily.

"Mom, turn on the news!" Lily's younger brother, Lane cried out from the stairs.

"Why, what is it, honey?" She asked, walking toward the tv, then turning it onto the news channel.

Lily reached for the remote, and then flicked the volume to turn up. There was a young reporter on the screen in a black over-coat and dark brown hair that blended in with the black sky.

_"If you're just tuning in, im here live from Mclaude's Pier, where a young girl has just drowned. The name is still unknown, however, we do know that she was not alone. This young girl was seen with her, and is noted to be the one who called the police."_

The screen showed a picture of Lily.

_"The young girl, Lilian Truscott was with the other girl, when she mysteriously fell from the Mclaude tower, 30 feet from the creek. Im Britney Wellsome, from Breaking News; Newschannel 19. Back to you, Jeff."_

"Oh...my..." Lily muttered.

"Lily, what is this about?" Lane asked his big sister. "Was that you?" He concluded in question.

"Lane, go upstairs, please!" Lily cried out.

He did as he was told, and Lily pressed her hand on her forehead in disbelief.

"Lily, sweetheart. Who was that girl?" Her mother asked, sitting next to her.

"Mom, that was me! Miley, she...she..."

"Miley? Miley's the girl who...who...drowned?"

"_Oui_."

"D-does Robby know?" Her mother asked shakily.

"Im not sure. I'll go over there tomorrow. Right now, there's something I need to do. I'll be back in about an hour."

"Alright, sweetie." Her mom let her, helping her to the door. "Oh, and darlin', it wasn't your fault, im sure. You were just with her."

"Yeah, mom. It wasn't my fault." She lied, and left the house.

_Kerosene Memory Gardens_

Read a sign, as Lily pulled into the cemetary. It was dark, and hard to see, but she searched for about five minutes, and finally found what she was looking for.

_Oliver O. Oken  
7.22.92-12.25.05  
Son, Encourager,  
and a life that'll  
never be forgotten._

Lily bent down and sat on her knees.

"Hey, Oliver." She smiled, wiping a tear. "Well, I'll bet you've probably heard by now. Miley's gone." She whispered out the end.

The gray tombstone just sat there, as if ignoring her. She began to grow angrier, not so much at God, but at herself, for letting both her friends die, and just sitting there watching it happen.

She finally lost control. "How could you?" She said silently. "How could you leave me here to hurt so much?!" She yelled louder, scaring the crows out of the trees. "It wasn't supposed to end this way!" She yelled, swatting her arms at the tombstone, and uncontrollably crying. "You left, and then Miley! Both of you left me here to die! How could you do that to me! Just...leave me here to hurt and rot without my two best friends?! You two were my only friends! And now...you're gone! I hate you! I hate both of you!"

She collapsed, and fell directly ontop of Oliver's grave. Just lying there...sobbing, while the cold night air brushed against her tan skin.

"I want to die..." She managed to mumble into the dirt.

_I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,  
She felt it everyday.  
And I couldn't help her,  
I just watched her make the same mistakes again. _

What's wrong, whats wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
That's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.  
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.  
Be strong, be strong now.  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
That's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.  
Her dreams she can't find.  
She's losing her mind.  
She's fallen behind.  
She can't find her place.  
She's losing her faith.  
She's fallen from grace.  
She's all over the place.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
That's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside.oh oh  
She's lost inside, lost inside.oh oh  
Ohhh...

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**Gosh, that almost made ME cry. lol. the songs in this chapter are owned by other ppl. NOT ME (:**

**They are:**

**"Untitled" by Simple Plan**

**"Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne.**

**R&R and plz give me ideas for chapter 3**

**thanks (:**


	3. Not The Answer

author's note- I just wanna thank everyone for reviewing. (: It means alot to me to know that people actually like the things I write. I'll admit, this isn't my best work, but it was an idea just begging to come out in the open. I'll also be working on future stories in the mean time, so don't expect day-after-day updates, mmk? enjoy this chapter.

-callie

**P.S.- **I own nothing. Well, I don't own the word nothing...but you get the idea. (:

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**Chapter 3-**_Not The Answer_

_**warning:** this chapter contains mild, but still graphic self-injury._

She stared at herself in the mirror. This was the first time this week she hadn't cried. The funeral service was lovely, but couldn't help her anymore than the raisor she gripped in her hand. She quietly hummed to herself, trying to ease the tension building up in her mind, as she gently started to sing, while dampening her wrist in cold water.

"How sweet the sound,"

she brushed some stray hair from her face and turned to hold the raisor gently on the corner of her wrist, easily attempting not to cut the vein. Slowly and steadily, she slid it across, breaking skin. Blood bubbled to the top, and ran down her arm. At first, no pain. And then--

"Ahh!" The seering pain struck in, as she put pressure on the wound with a wet washcloth.

"Okay, that wasn't so hard, was it?" She asked the girl in the mirror.

She nodded to herself, then putting a chained bracelet on her wrist, to hide the scar from her mother and brother. Once the bracelet was secure, she opened the medicine cabinet and searched for her mother's pain killers. Anything to stop the pain shooting from her wrist. She finally found them, opened the lid, and dumped about seven into her hand. Filling her rinse cup with tap water, she, all at once, put the pills in her mouth and drank the water.

"For what it's worth," she began, then grabbing her indian-style woven purse, and lapping it over her shoulder. "I never doubted you, Miley."

* * *

School was gonna suck this week. She had fall break to help her cope with the loss of Miley, and Christmas break to help her cope with the loss of Oliver. So now, having to go back to school with no friends...it's gonna suck. She opened the school doors to a crowd of freshman, glaring at her. She didn't care, this wasn't even her hallway. She passed the sophomore hallway, and turned two corners, and up three different flights of stairs until she finally reached her junior classmates' hallway. They looked at her, but then went on to what they were doing. She walked to her locker, and turned the knob, after everything that happened, she could hardly remember her combination.

"12...no! 18...32...no, wait...52! 18...52...27. Yeah, that's it." She muttered to herself, turning the knob, then it not opening, and her realizing that wasn't her combination after all.

"Allow me," said a pretty british/english accent coming from behind her. Lily spun around to see a girl with super straight light brown hair, thin waist, and flipped bangs. Her outfit didn't look forieign at all. It was a trendy knee-length skirt, a light blue buttonee. And her hazel eyes shown beneath two lenses of black. But, we'll call them sunglasses.

"You look solemn. I'm Jillian Morgan. I just transfered here from Bapteesce Academy." The girl introduced herself while turning the knob on Lily's locker. "12-32-19." She finished, and pulled the locker door open.

"Thank you," Lily said, stuffing her things in her locker. "By the way," she began, stopping to look at Jillian while holding the top corner of the locker door. "How did you know my combination?"

"Oh, it's my locker too! At least until the semester ends. Principal McConnahey wanted me to share a locker with someone until placements are sorted out. And he sent me to this one."

"Oh," Lily forced a smile. "I'm Lilian Truscott. My friends-- uhm, C-call me Lily."

Jillian gasped. "You're Lily Truscott? As in, 'Truscott Advice Colemn'?! 'Ask Lily'?! 'Dear Lily,'?!"

Lily smiled. "That's me!"

"Your article in the Seaview High School brochere is what inspired me to drop out of Bapteesce and come to Seaview! I, myself, am an aspiring journalist." Jillian expressed in her british accent.

"Wonderful," Lily smiled. "But I won't be writing much anymore."

"Why?" Jillian asked just as the bell rang, signaling homeroom.

"Uhm, got to-uh, gotta get to class. See you after lunch." Lily turned to leave.

Looking behind her to make sure no one was following her, she went into the girls restroom. She checked the stalls; she was alone.

She dug through her purse until she found the raisor she had kept from earlier. She unlatched her bracelet and saw that the scar had scabbed over, and it was time to replace it. She rinsed her wrist, on the other side, and dug into it with the sharp raisorblade, breaking skin. Blood bubbled to the surface, and began to shimmer down her arm. She waited for the pain, and once it came, she bit down on her bottom lip to keep from crying out.

"Ow," she silently squealed, dotting the wound with a wet tissue, and then securing her bracelet back to cover it. She gathered into her purse, searching for her pills. She found them, and unscrewed the cap, dumping less than earlier, a five in her hand. She cupped her hand and put tap water in it, taking in the pills, and drinking the water.

"Lily? What're you doing?" said a voice at the door.

_shit._

_

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_

**Okay, the person at the door is NOT jillian. So don't say it is. it's not jillian OR a teacher, okay? alright please read and review. i'll appreciate it verily. (:**


	4. Just The Beggining

**Chapter 4**

_by: callie.carsonx3_

**Disclaimer: i don't own hannah montana. i only own a few characters. Maxie, being one of them(:**

**ENJOY! **

**

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"Maxie!" Lily exasperated.

"Don't you 'Maxie' me! What are you doing?!" The teen blonde told her younger cousin, walking briskly to the sink to snatch away the pills. She looked at Lily with a concerned, yet angry look.

"Lilian Rachel-Marie Truscott!" Maxine Williams, Lily's senior cousin yelled. "Have you been doing drugs?"

"No," she lied in response. "Look, they're just pain killers! What harm could they do?"

Maxie stared at her with a disbelieving look. "'What harm could they do?'! Lilian! These can be very dangerous! Remember what happened to Uncle Donny?!"

"Uncle Donny was a drug addict, Maxie."

"So will _you _be if you persist at doing these. I'm sorry sweetie, but I need to take these away from you." Maxie said, putting the bottle of pills in her purse.

"Maxie! You can't do that! I'm only taking them to relieve the pain from my...aches."

"Aches?" Maxie asked doubtfully. "You are seventeen years old, what aches could you possibly consume?"

"Bad aches." Lily began, rolling her eyes. "Really bad aches."

"Sorry, Lilian. But I have no other choice. You're my baby cousin! I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

"Baby cousin? Two years. Big diffie."

"Goodbye, Lilian." Maxie prissed her way out of the restroom.

Maxine was only two years older than Lily, but acted like her protective older sister. They were really close growing up, and always hung around each other. Maxie was like her second best friend next to Miley. Miley didn't exactly like Maxie. She was always jealous of her, because she spent more time with Lily than Miley did.

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"Lily, honey! Time for dinner!" Lily heard her mom call from downstairs. 

"I am not hungry!" Lily forced. She twirled herself off of her bed, and pressed her feet against the cold hardwood. She walked to her mirror, and began fiddling with the jewelry near the edge. She looked up suddenly, and Miley was sitting on her bed. Her heart jumped, and she looked on her bed. No Miley. Mirror: Miley. Bed: No Miley. Whaaa?

She blinked her eyes three times, hard. She opened them back; Miley was gone. She was actually never there, that was Lily's mind giving her guilt.

The phone rang, causing her to jump. Shakily, she answered. "H-hi, thanks for calling the Truscotts."

"Lily, sweetheart. How are you holding up?" It was her neighbor.

"Hi, Mrs. Lawrence. Things are fine. Just a little shaky for me. I feel like I've just seen Miley in my mirror."

"Oh, honey. Thats only guilt, that is. It is normal for everyone to feel guilt."

"Tell me about it." Lily mumbled.

"What was that?" Mrs. Lawrence asked gently.

Lily rubbed her temples with her left hand. Her right was holding the phone. "Nothing. I have to go now, talk to you later." Lily hung up the phone without waiting for a response.

She grabbed her keys, and without speaking to her mother, rushed out the door.

* * *

She pulled her car door open and got inside. She turned the radio to something she hadn't listened to since she was a young girl - 102.1 WDRM. Continuous Country Favorites. Yep, Country Music. 

She had to listen to something that would remind her of Miley.

_"When I woke up this morning  
Wiped the sleep from my eyes  
Found a new day dawning  
And suddenly I realize  
You're gone _

Tell me I was dreaming  
That you didn't leave me here to cry  
And it was just my imagination telling lies  
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye

I'm in a state of confusion  
I hope things aren't what they seem  
If this is really happening  
Just let me go back to dream  
You're here

Tell me I was dreaming  
That you didn't leave me here to cry  
And it was just my imagination telling lies  
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye

Tell me I was dreaming  
That you didn't leave me here to cry  
And it was just my imagination telling lies  
Tell me that you didn't say goodbye"

Sang the radio as tears stung Lily's eyes as her car glided down the highway, only to be lit by mere headlights of the cars that pass them by.

Lily finally gave up and parked in a nearby spot near Mt. Awet. **(A/N-Mt. Awet is not a real place; and it's french so it's pronounced: ah-ET)**

She turned her car off and banged her wheel. "Life ain't fair." She whimpered, crossing her arms atop of the wheel, and resting her head on them. Ten minutes later, she sat up, and looked for her lipgloss to redo it. She looked in the rearview mirror and Miley was standing behind her car. She waved, then Lily spun around; Miley was gone. She wasn't haunting her. She knew it. But at this point, for Lily, anything was possible.

...And this is just the begging.

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**A/N-I don't own the song in this chapter. Although, i did mix up some words. And for that I apologize to Travis Tritt and Bruce Ray Brown who wrote the song. It's called, "Tell me I was dreaming", by Travis Tritt. Also, big thanks to Candyluvr123 for the award she gave us on her story award website for, "Tearjerker of the month" for April. We appreciate the support. We, we being me and my best friend, work hard on this story, and it's nice to be appreciated. Please review. It means mucho.**

**love always,**

**Calliekins. (:**


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